-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
In dating, common interests trump physical intimacy, say teens surveyed. It's a fact of teen life: Your hormones are raging and curiosity over a three-letter word is at an all-time high.
But when it comes to dating, teens here are not about to jump into bed with anyone – having that special connection with someone is more important.
That's what 353 teens told us about the dating scene in a survey conducted by IN's cub reporters this month.
The respondents from 15 secondary schools were asked about their attitudes towards dating.Over 90 per cent of them were Secondary 2, or Secondary 3 students. The rest were in Secondary 1, 4 or 5.
What we found: When it came to that initial attraction, it wasn't studly bodies or model looks that did it, but a great smile.Almost half, or 45 per cent, said it was the first thing they noticed about the opposite sex.
The survey also threw up other interesting nuggets about teen dating.For example, an overwhelming majority said secondary school was the ideal time to start searching for that special someone. For some, like Orchid Park Secondary 3 student Elizabeth Lee, it's a matter of self-empowerment. "At this age, I know what's best for me," said the 15-year-old.
Others thought the mark of puberty between the ages of 13 and 17 signalled emotional maturity – a sign of readiness for a relationship.
Fourteen-year-old Koh Yang Wei was more direct.Said the Secondary 3 Holy Innocent's High School student: "It's the time when we start to get horny."But even as their sex drives kick into gear, for most teens, getting physical was not the topmost thing on their minds. More than two-thirds of respondents thought the perfect date was when they "couldn't stop talking and laughing".
By contrast, fewer than one in 10 students picked physical intimacy as his or her main criterion. In fact, judging from the responses, sex did not rank very highly at all. What respondents craved was companionship and conversation. And yes – that was true for the boys, too.
The survey found that both boys and girls were in sync when it came to their romantic lives.Nearly 9 in 10 students preferred dating only one person compared to seeing a few people at a time. They were also a sentimental bunch. Most said they would write love notes, talk on the phone and SMS every day to show their affection.Both boys and girls also agreed that the ability to talk about anything, having the same interests, and not feeling bored when together – were all major signs that a couple were meant for each other.
Even American teens seem to share the same values when it comes to boy-girl relationships.A study done by psychology researchers from the State University of New York showed that teenage boys, like girls, were motivated by the same love and desire for meaningful relationships. They examined data collected from 105 boys, average age 16, who were asked their reasons for pursuing a relationship.
The top answer, marked by 80 per cent of the boys?
"I really liked the person."
Physical attraction came in second.
Dr Carol Belhetchet, director of youth services at the Singapore Children's Society, was not surprised. "At this age, finding your identity is most important. Teens want to look for others with common interests. "They want to be acknowledged; they want to share their lives – that's not a 'boy' or 'girl' thing," she added. But Dr Belhetchet raised an eyebrow when told almost all the teens surveyed here said sex was not a major factor when dating. "This is the age of experimentation. This sense of exploration is also why teen relationships don't last very long – typically not longer than a month."
Such an observation would not sit well with Ho Wei Yang, a Secondary 1 student at Bukit View School. The 13-year-old, who says he has yet to find his soulmate, is not looking to date more than one person – ever. "Just one is enough," he told IN. "Because if you already have a girlfriend, you're already at the stage where you're sure she's the right one." A true romantic. And he's not alone.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Answer the following questions based on the article above
(A) It was mentioned that "the mark of puberty between the ages of 13 and 17 signalled emotional maturity – a sign of readiness for a relationship". Do you agree that between 13 and 17 is a good time to go steady? And why?
(B) Interestingly, the article also mentions that sex was not a major factor when dating but rather companionship and conversation. Based on your own experience or interaction with your peers, how accurate or true is that opinion of our youths in Singapore?
No comments:
Post a Comment